Introduction

“There are no hopeless situations, there are only people who have grown hopeless about them.”
Clare Boothe

Life is funny. If you have lived long enough, and by long enough, I mean even being 12 years old, you already know that life can be funny. It can also be frustrating. It can be challenging. Life, in all, can be a lot of things at the same time.

I grew up as a very introverted kid. My first attempt to talk to a girl I liked, when I was only ten years old, didn’t go as planned. She humiliated me. The odds didn’t seem to play in my favor in my life’s “romantic relationship” department. My second attempt was more catastrophic. I will spare you the details today.

Two things were incredibly wrong: first, what business did I have trying to get in relationships at that age? Second, why was I always picking the wrong girl?

 I lost all my ego and personal confidence, I was shattered and destroyed internally. I started believing that I was ugly. Fast forward 20 years later, I am happily (really happily) married to the most beautiful woman in my universe, and I have a boy who looks handsome and is very smart. I never thought that was going to be possible when I was 10, or 15, or even when I got dumped yet again at the age of 17, and it took me almost four years to recover from the bitterness and anger.

A Fact of Life.

Challenges and problems that happen to us may cause us to look at life differently, thinking this is not for me; this is the end of me, or maybe there is something else I need to be doing in life. For those who are Christians, maybe it is a promise from God or a prophecy whose fulfillment you have been waiting for. For others, it might be the 67th rejection letter you’re receiving from applying for a job (I read the story of a lady who sent out 150 applications to secure one job). At some point, you might wonder, is this for me?

The worst is when you have lost hope in anything and everything, and living life no longer makes sense to you.

A few years ago, I read a scripture that altered my perspective on life and set me on a path to remain hopeful and look toward a brighter tomorrow.

“For we know that all things work together for the good of those who love God and those who are called according to his promises.” Apostle Paul, Romans 8:28

Reasons Behind Hopelessness

1. The situation is negative

“If it wasn’t bad luck I wouldn’t have any luck at all.” Albert King

Some situations are undeniably negative. Losing a loved one, facing unemployment without savings, failing a class or being rejected from a program, experiencing heartbreak—the list is extensive. Despite our efforts to maintain a positive outlook, some circumstances seem immune to improvement. Zig Ziglar illustrated this with a story of a boy who confessed his failed arithmetic test to his father. While the father urged him to stay positive, the boy retorted, “Dad, I am positive; I flunked the Arithmetic test.” Zig Ziglar added, “A positive attitude won’t let you accomplish everything, but it will help you accomplish everything better than a negative attitude.”

2. Feeeding on the Wrong information

Feeding on the wrong information can lead to a downward spiral of negativity and despair. In her book The Battlefield of the Mind, Joyce Meyer candidly shares her battle with a negative attitude, admitting to indulging in what she calls “pity parties” for an extended period. She recounts feeling frustrated when her husband refused to join in, instead opting to enjoy time with their children. Meyer humorously points out that these pity parties lack guests, and even when someone does attend, they rarely bring presents.
I’ve personally found myself rehearsing feelings of pain, anger, and resentment, sinking deeper into despair with each replay. This self-perpetuating cycle only serves to exacerbate the situation, leaving me feeling even worse by day’s end.

Moreover, consuming excessive news content can have a similarly detrimental effect. Mainstream media often focuses on the negative aspects of humanity, bombarding viewers with stories of tragedy and despair. Rarely do they offer a glimpse of positivity. Personally, I’ve made a conscious decision to limit my exposure to news outlets like FOX News and CNN, recognizing their potential to foster feelings of hopelessness.

Similarly, social media can be a breeding ground for comparison and self-doubt. While it may seem like everyone else is thriving and achieving success, it’s essential to remember that social media often presents a curated version of reality. I’ve found it beneficial to take breaks from social media and focus on my own journey, celebrating my victories no matter how small.

Cultivating Hope

Developing A Positive Mental Attitude

A negative attitude is like a flat tire, you can’t go too far with it. Zig Ziglar

Attitude is everything. It can make or break our happiness, success, and overall well-being. While some individuals are born with a naturally positive attitude and are nurtured in a positive environment, others may not be so fortunate. Some people may have had negative experiences in the past that have shaped their outlook and attitude towards life.

Developing a positive attitude might seem simple or tough, depending on your approach. It all hinges on your desire for change. You’ve got to want that positivity in your life genuinely. Without that inner drive, you won’t fully grasp the benefits of a positive mindset. But merely wishing for positivity isn’t sufficient. You’ve also got to consider your surroundings. The people you spend time with can greatly influence your outlook. I discovered this firsthand during my initial job experience back in 2014. I found myself working alongside a team predominantly composed of former military personnel. Many had a penchant for swearing, which contrasted sharply with my Christian beliefs and upbringing.

Unbeknownst to me, their habits began to seep into my behavior day by day. Before I knew it, I was inadvertently adopting their negative language patterns. One morning, frustration got the best of me during my commute to work, and I cussed a fellow driver who cut me off. At that moment, I realized how much their negativity permeated my mindset. This experience underscored a fundamental truth: the company we keep profoundly shapes our attitudes. Negative influences breed negativity, while positive influences nurture optimism. Therefore, it’s crucial to be mindful of the people we surround ourselves with when striving for a more positive outlook.

Feeding your Mind

Let’s face it: whether we know it or not, we feed our minds. The question is, what food are you feeding your mind with? Feeding on the right information daily is crucial for maintaining hope. It’s like nourishing your soul with positivity every day.

Firstly, find a reliable source of encouragement to turn to daily without distractions. Consistency is key here because you never know when you’ll need that extra boost of motivation. Relying on motivation only when you’re feeling down is like waiting until you’re starving to eat; it’s not the smartest approach, right? It can also be compared to driving your vehicle until you’re completely out of gas before you refill it. That’s why I prefer content that not only motivates but also educates. It’s not just about getting a quick adrenaline rush; it’s about taking action and staying motivated consistently.

Secondly, Finding inspiration in the word of God, the Bible has proven essential for me. I also enjoy listening to uplifting sermons and reading daily devotionals by Dr. David Jeremiah. These practices remind me of God’s promises and help me stay positive. Additionally, reflecting on past achievements, no matter how small is a powerful reminder that tough times are temporary.

In conclusion, I’m reminded of a quote by Clare Boothe, “There are no hopeless situations, only people who have grown hopeless about them.” And as Admiral William H. McRaven observed, “Hope is the most powerful force in the universe. With hope, you can inspire nations to greatness.”

So, if you’re feeling hopeless about your situation, it’s time for a mental check-up. As Zig Ziglar famously said, “Do a check-up from the neck-up.” Remember, you’re capable of achieving greatness. Keep pushing forward and may God bless you!

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